the hazards of living...anywhere

Anger. Towards humanity. Frustration. At myself. The desire to punch a small African man in the face. Fire coming out of my mouth, singeing those around me (mostly Jason) with ugly words. This is how I felt Friday afternoon after my iPod was stolen. I walked out of the post office and a small man startled me by shoving a plastic bag towards me and asking if I wanted to buy something. He was so close he freaked me out so I told him no and that he shouldn't sneak up on people. A moment later I felt inside the outside pocket of my bag and realized my mistake. But it was already too late and when I turned around the little man was nowhere in site. Jason was across the street and felt the heat when I stormed to the car cursing myself for being so stupid and angry at the man for taking something that clearly didn't belong to him. I even marched back across the street to storm around for a few minutes looking for this small non descript African man, knowing full well that I didn't get a good enough look. But a pink leather iPod case isn't too hard to miss so I was at least going to look for someone that was manhandling something like that. Of course no dice so back to the car, where Jason again felt the heat of my anger until a few tears rolled down my cheeks because that's usually how my anger ends up manifesting itself.

As I typed the word 'iPod', I know it sounds silly to get up in arms about the luxury of it. I am happy that it wasn't my phone or my wallet or something that is a bit harder to live without. But it was mine, given to me by a good friend. My original iPod, that my brother sweetly bought for me, died while I was in Peace Corps. I tried to save some of my resettling allowance to replace it but after taking care of a few other things, I couldn't really justify buying one. Both my sister and my best friend Elysia happened to have old nanos lying around and they each gave me one. So at one point I actually had 2 iPod's, talk about luxury. While I was putting one to good use, I gave one to my friend to use. He had no kind of music listening device and it was just silly that one of my iPod's was collecting dust. So then this little, non descript, African man decides that he's going to invade my personal space and take something I really appreciate having on a daily basis. I'm kicking myself for leaving it in that pocket. I had a fleeting thought it wasn't the best place for it but I'm always on my guard, my bag close to my side and with my game face on. You know, the one that says 'don't mess with me I'm on a mission and I'll be mean if you do'.

At our next post office stop, I had to wait in quiet a long queue (that's what they call it here, not line). It was way past lunch so clearly I was getting to the cranky stage but there was a really nice man behind me that struck up a conversation. The usual inquiries about where I'm from, how long have I lived here, do I like it, etc. Of course I was a little bit more bitter and told him that I love the country but I was pick pocketed earlier and feeling a bit jaded. Of course I know that this can happen anywhere and it doesn't mean that South Africa is bad. It's not, plus this man was so nice, I couldn't help but have my faith in humanity restored. He even told me a story about when he lived in New York for a year he and a friend got mugged. He being from Africa, took the tough guy route and told the guys to shove off but his friend didn't and they took his wallet. Anyway, point of the story being that this kind of thing happens anywhere and I really did feel much better after talking to him.

So I thank the man with the kind soul at the Pinetown post office. Where ever you happen to be at the moment I am sending good thoughts and vibes your way. And to the small non descript African man, I hope karma comes around and bites you in the ass. I just wish I could see it when it does.

trying this simple'ology thing out...

I just found a link that maybe can help me improve my blogging...oh it sounds so nerdy, I know but really, I feel as though I'm missing a key element. And these guys are offering advice for free so I'm going to try it out. Here's the bit I have to post:

I'm evaluating a multi-media course on blogging from the folks at Simpleology. For a while, they're letting you snag it for free if you post about it on your blog.

It covers:

• The best blogging techniques.
• How to get traffic to your blog.
• How to turn your blog into money.

I'll let you know what I think once I've had a chance to check it out. Meanwhile, go grab yours while it's still free.

Sounds good so far...I'll update on my progress and whether it's worth it!!

wedding bells for katie

My little sister got married. I almost can't believe it. But I guess since her facebook status says she's married and she's now Katie Steinhoff and not Katie Hotard anymore, it must be real. She's off on her honeymoon and I couldn’t be happier for her. The celebrations surrounding her big day and the wedding itself were amazing. I was home for 3 weeks and I swear, it was the busiest time I've had in probably the past year! Every day was filled with tasks to check off of the to-do lists. When I collapsed into bed each night, I barely hit the pillow before being fast asleep. It was hectic trying to get all the things done for her wedding while still planning and doing stuff for mine as well but everything got done and her big day went off without any hitches.


Katie was beautiful and there wasn't a moment when she didn't have a huge smile on her face (ok - maybe during the 900th picture of the family).


The reception was at the Pearl Stable and it was set for 350 and we maxed that place out - there wasn't an open seat in the house! We danced all night and had our fill of fajitas and margaritas! Oh, and the best part was the nacho cheese fountain… it really doesn't get much better than flowing cheese on top of mexican food! Rickey, Jason and I were in charge of delivering all the presents to their house after the reception - we filled an entire van with all the back seats down plus the backseat and trunk of a smaller sedan. CRAZY! What generous family and friends they have - they are so fortunate to start off their life together set with all the kitchen ware and tools any family could want!
It was fun to see how her big day unfolded - sort of a good trial run for me. It was perfect for her but there are numerous things that will be completely different for my big day. For instance, we aren't having a church wedding so it won't be as formal. Not as many bridesmaids/groomsmen and definitely not as many people. It's fun to see how as sisters, we are so much alike but that our tastes are also so different.

I'm so happy that I got to see and talk with my entire family. The time with them is never long enough but just seeing them for the few days was worth it…plus we're all getting back together in Puerto Rico in just 5 short months!

Here's a picture of most of the cousins from the Hotard-Escudero family - we're missing Andrea & Chris and their 2 cute kids Jay & Ava, Fred had to work, Cessly was in Colorado and Jeff had to stay back in Louisiana for some studying (and evidently a date)...Oh and Cameron but he was technically there, he was just in the middle of his nap time.

Alex, Linden, Sofia, Diego, Joey, Rickey, Jamie, Jason, Graham, Anne-Marie, Lee
Bryn, Teresa, Marisa, Paul, Katie, Christy
Jennifer, Jon, Kara, Mia
Ryan, Zach, Anderson, Campbell, and little Ana

birthday bash

This year I got to celebrate my birthday at home in San Antonio with my family. Nothing big was planned but I did have to get my driver's license renewed. So off I went to the DMV - not as early as I hoped, but spending the few hours in the morning with my mom and Anne-Marie was nice. And even though nothing was on the agenda, I still wanted to look pretty, so I got dolled up in my new dress and some of Anne-Marie's Premier Designs jewelry. At the DMV I was told I needed my Social Security card because it had been too long since I had a TX drivers license. Unfortunately I had lost my card a few years ago while living in Colorado (flew out of my wallet going over Monarch pass in an open jeep, oops) so off I went to find the Social Security office.

After getting directions from my mom, then stopping at a gas station to figure out where I went wrong, turning around and at least finding the right street, I still was having some problems locating the building. While driving in a parking lot and craning my neck to try and find the silly office, I ran into another car that was coming up from the perpendicular lane. Ugh. I immediately burst into tears because who wants to get into a car accident on their birthday while in their sister's car! The other people were friendly, probably not sure what to do with this blubbering idiot. We exchanged information and after a million calls between me, my mom, dad and Anne-Marie, I was assured that it wasn't exactly the end of the world.

I circled around the area another couple of times, I finally found the office and had to wait another half an hour to get my number called. Then back to the DMV, where I got to skip the line only to be given another number where I had to wait another hour before getting called.

Despite the horrible car blunder, the rest of the day was actually really nice. Teresa and I made home made wheat pizzas for dinner. We even tossed the dough in the air a few times! They were delicious - spinach & feta, veggie, pepperoni & sausage and cheese.


Cupcakes for dessert, compliments of my dear friend Elysia, and poppy seed bread that my mom got up early to make for me. The Belisle's (minus Janet) came over and joined the chaos - it's always nice to have close family friends join in a celebration. After some presents and merriment, Katie, Paul, Teresa and I went off to the movies to see The Proposal, which had me in hysterics most of the time. I guess since 29 isn't exactly a major celebration year, I needed something to make this birthday a memorable one. The good news is my $5 a year touring policy through USAA is covering the damages to Anne-Marie's car and her insurance is covering the damages to the other car. It all works out in the end.

swirling thoughts

What am I doing? That is the main question on my mind right now. Floundering, wasting my days, doing a lot of things that are meaningless and not helping me to change my current situation. It's an injustice to me and the life I'm supposed to be living, the one I am living. This is it! There is no looking forward to what will happen - it's just causing me extra worry lines because it's become evident that the things that I think are set in life, don't stay set - there is no jello mold holding all the little mandarin orange pieces together. And so I'm figuring out a few things: first, 'it' won't happen if I don't act now, today, the moment I'm in right now. That's all I have. Two, I can't worry about things, as long as I'm doing what I can today. Living my life in the moment and not just letting my whole life pass me by.

The other day some one asked me what I believe. I tried to defer to others because it was a political conversation but he was adamant and wanted MY views. It really forced me to think about it - where exactly do I stand on certain issues? I'm quickly approaching the adult years (some may think I'm actually already there) and no, I don't have to lose my youthful spirit, but figuring out my own opinions, maybe that is a little bit overdue. I don’t need to worry about others judging me. I just need to be open to being wrong, finding out the truth and more information, learning. But it's time to stop holding myself back.

So now there are some big question marks looming over my head.

What do I need to be doing every day to be living the life I want?
What do I believe?

That's my current quest. I think I'm on the verge of something big.