sunflowers

Jason bought me sunflowers! The day before we left to start our long drive to get to Cape Town, I got a call from the french NGO. I was really excited at first but then as the conversation progressed, I found out that I'm no longer the only candidate - not bad news just means I'm not a shoe in anymore. Anyway, part of the interview process requires the candidate to take a skills test. For an admin and logistics position, it's not that unusual but back in December when I interviewed, I couldn't take the test because they hadn't translated it to English yet. Earlier that day I sent an email letting my contact know that I would be traveling and how best to get in touch with me. Well he called to say that I would be missing the test while I was gone but I could come in that afternoon to take it. Of course I would.

I got to the office around 2:45pm - he had already told me it would take about 3 hours so I was prepared for it. But when I got there, he wanted to re-interview me (he wasn't the one that originally interviewed me in December), then there were technical difficulties with the test so by the time I got started, it was closer to 3:30pm.

The first test was in word, a bunch of questions about management, supply chain, purchase orders, stakeholders, etc and after getting into the groove, I felt very confident with most of my answers. At the end of the word document was a multiple choice section - when I started to read the questions, my jaw just dropped open. They wanted to know information about batteries and voltage, diesel engines, generators and how long they would operate, common cement mixture, what do inverters do, the diameter of pipes, there was even a drawing of some sort of amp reader and I had to figure out what it was displaying. Wow, talk about feeling out of my league. Lucky for me, all of the questions included a "I don't know" option, which I chose often. I'm sure it was just to test my knowledge base but I was convinced by the end of this section that I wouldn't be surprised if I didn't get the job.

The second section was in Excel. I LOVE excel so I was fine with it - basic accounting, cash flow, things I was mostly comfortable with although there was a lot of information to sift through. I forgot how to do a weighted mean and because we were working in 3 different currencies, I may have missed some valuable parts but overall, I was feeling good until the last question - Pivot Tables. I haven't created or worked with pivot tables since the computer class I took in college. My dad works with them daily and I was wishing that we could have had longer conversations about them! When I finally came to the end of the test, after waiting for clarification on a section I didn't understand, it was after 7pm and I was exhausted. I tried to use the Help option while I waited but it wasn't actually very helpful. So I at least wrote a few sentences stating that I am an quick learner and confident that I could figure Pivot Tables out with a little study.

Umph. I took notes on the multiple choice section because I HAD to be able to tell Jason what was included - and what I had no idea how to answer. It was crazy but I'm glad at least the process has moved forward. I will find out in just a few short weeks about the position but honestly, I won't be surprised if I don't get the job. Admin and Logistics positions are something that a lot of Zimbabweans are qualified to do so I shouldn't get the job if it's taking it away from one of them. So maybe it's time to rethink my approach to looking for work and find my niche somewhere else. And after that test, maybe I don't actually want that job...maybe figuring out how I can consult is a better option for me right now. A lot to mull over while we're traveling around South Africa.

After the test, Jason picked me up and when we got home I was greeted with the ever friendly and happy faces of a bouquet of beautiful sunflowers. There are beautiful flowers all around, but sunflowers will always be my favorite because no matter where I see them, they always make me smile.

a little bit of home for breakfast

Ever since my friend Chris W posted an article about breakfast tacos from Texas on FB, I've been craving them. Last week we decided to have a mexican food night so I made a batch of tortillas - the best I've made yet, due to the overlooked ingredient that isn't included in the PeaceCorps cookbook tortilla recipe, Baking Powder. They turned out amazing this time around and we had a ton of tortillas to last us through the week. So Saturday morning, I got up early, prepared some guacamole and pico and warmed up the left over refried beans. Jason got up in time to cook the bacon and eggs while the tortillas were warming and then we sat down to enjoy a feast of potato and egg and bacon and refried bean tacos with guac and pico on the side. It was amazing and gave us plenty of energy to plan ultimate frisbee later in the day!

Now that I've perfected my tortillas recipe, the next step is to make homemade refried beans. That should be fun, as long as I can find the right kind of beans here. Any suggestions or recipes to offer would be much appreciated!

34 Fisher

I LOVE our new home. It's small but has exactly everything we could need right now. It's a flat that's attached to the bottom of someone's house - Phil and Di Russell are our new neighbors and landlords. We found it through our friends Liz and John who we were staying with when we first returned to Zimbabwe.

The moment Jason and I walked in, we both looked at each other and knew we were going to take it. We would have been crazy not to - it's fully furnished and the bed even has a real mattress and not just one of those oversized sponges that are too soft and terrible for your back. So here's our virtual tour:

This is the back of the house and we are the flat one the first floor of the house.

There is a little garden right outside where we eat our breakfasts on the weekend. We're talking about getting a nice little umbrella so we can sit out here and have sundowners and enjoy the beautiful evenings.
You walk directly into the foyer with the dinning room on your left and the tv/sitting area on your right.
The TV nook is great - it even has a TV, courtesy of our lovely landpeople, so we can watch the SABC channels as well as our new favorite news channel France24. It's actually the only decent international news station we get. Two oversized chairs and if we're looking for a loveseat to add to the are so we can at least snuggle while we're watching movies.

We finally a have a table to eat our meals at! And it seats 6 so we can have a nice dinner party, although we only have a set of 4 dishes right now. What also makes it so great is the open bar counter that connects to the kitchen! Finally we have counter space and we can both be in the kitchen without stepping all over each other.

We had to invest in a gas canister and gas stovetop because of all the ZESA issues - they do a lot of power showering in our neighborhood right in the middle of the dinner cooking hour so it's nice to have the gas alternative. We also use a large black trash bin (that's never been used for trash) to store our drinking water, which is harvested rain water that's been treated. We do have water running out of the taps but it's not treated as much as the stored rain water so to be on the safe side we just drink the rain water. The municipal water comes and goes so most households have created back up systems like this one.

Across from the kitchen is the dressing room. It's a whole tiny room that has closets big enough to fit all of our clothes, although no drawers. Eventually we'll put a little desk in here so we can always have the printer set up and accessible. The window looks into the TV area.

The bedroom is kind of funny because there is no real separation from the rest of the house - you look directly at the bed when you're standing in the front doorway. There is a half wall that separates the kitchen from the room but otherwise, it's open. Because the house is set into the hill, the bedroom is basically underground, therefore no windows.

The bathroom is spacious with a tub and a separate shower that has EXCELLENT water pressure! Can't complain at all. The only funny thing is that the light switch, instead of being right outside the door is actually in the kitchen. A fun little quirk.


So that's our home. We love it, we're comfortable and it's the perfect price for our little budget.

a new kind of crush

For the last few months, I've been agonizing over my phone. I stare it for minutes at a time, willing it to ring. It's always in my pocket or within my line of sight so I can jump the moment it makes a sound. I'm anxious, hopeful, dreaming about what the future will look like once I get that call. A few sporadic emails keep me hooked and string me along, therefore I'm unable to just forget about the whole thing and put it behind me. The last time I was like this was in college, waiting for my crush to call. The boy always said he would call me later and no matter how often I heard that line, I always believed he would actually call later. I would do the same thing and stare at my phone, praying that he would wise up and figure out that I was amazing and not worth passing up. The situation I'm in right now is almost exactly the same. Only now I'm married and live with my crush so the man I'm hoping will call is actually a potential employer.

And just like with my crush of long ago, I daydream about what the future will look like, how perfectly suited for the position I am, how crazy they would be not to realize my potential, dedication, work ethic and hire me this instant. In this situation it's of course a bit different, the decision isn't just contingent on one man's feelings, it requires coordination of many people, including a home office in Paris and straightening out government relationships, etc. So I'm being patient. I haven't put everything else on hold in the meantime, I've kept the job search going, met with people but really, deep down in my heart, I'm hoping that this one opportunity comes through. I dream about how much work the position requires and how I would fit perfectly behind the desk and computer, organizing, multitasking and helping this organization to start up and thrive. I belong there, I just know it.

But today, the waiting game continues and I try to shove the feelings to the back of my mind so as not to completely consume my ambition so I can continue emailing and making contacts.

Of course with my phone right next to my computer, in my direct line of sight.

the need...to pee

I'm sitting here at Jason's office, actually it's not his office. His organization, Zimbabwe AHEAD, rents space from another local NGO. They've worked together for awhile and over a year ago, agreed to rent an office to Zim AHEAD. It's a nice enough place - an old home that has been added to and turned into a suitable offices - it's the way a lot of NGO's operate here. Last October and November, I came to the office every day with Jason to job search, work on cover letters and so I wasn't stuck at the house, unable to get anywhere or do anything during ZESA outages. After coming back this year, I decided that I didn't want to come to the office with him every day. One of the main reasons is because of the atmosphere here. I think it has a bad vibe. It sucks for Jason because he doesn't have much of a choice - he has to come to work! Usually I come to the office with him one or 2 days a week, so I can use the internet and continue the job search. Otherwise, I'm happy staying at home and trying to fill my hours without having to deal with the bad juju. I can't put my finger on exactly what the issue is but when it comes down to it, I think it's the people. NOT the people in Jason's specific office - his coworkers are great. It's actually everyone other person here that works for the other organization. They are the least friendly Zimbabwean's I've met so far. They are cold and don't bother to try to engage us in conversation.

The organization hires a caterer to bring in lunch, usually just the traditional stuff, sadza (pap) and chicken stew or beef stew. Nothing special and for $1.00, the price is right and it fills the hole. So we sit outside under the big thatched amphitheatre thing along with everyone else and no one invites us to join in their conversation. Mostly the conversation is in Shona and we don't understand what is being said but even when we're right there in the midst of it, there is no effort made to explain in English what is being said. If we come in after people are already seated, quiet greetings are exchanged and that's the extent of how we're acknowledged. I feel bad for Jason because he does this every day but he's better at not taking things personally than I am so he lets it go. Last week, there were a few more people than usual who ordered catering and by the time we made it out to get our plate, our plates had been taken so we had to go with dry chicken and rice. And then when we joined the group, there was space for one person and if shifting could happen, another could easily be squeezed in. No effort was made, there was barely any acknowledgement from the 12 people sitting around the table and finally, after awkwardly trying to add a chair, we just decided to sit at a table outside the area and really feel like the outsiders. It was a horrible feeling and confirmed why I don't like this office. It's the people. That and the crappy slow internet (but at least it's free).

Friday morning of last week, Jason and Innocent (the finance guy for Zim AHEAD) arrived to a notice that told them they had to vacate their office space by the end of the day. That's another thing about this place, they are NOT professional at all. Who gives less than one day notice? Not my issue to deal with so I tried not to care and just let Innocent deal with it. They arranged to move to a smaller office next door and this morning when we arrived, it was clear there was no space for me so I'm sitting outside under the thatched roof biding my time till lunch. Today I would have stayed home but I have a meeting with a woman from CARE to discuss possible volunteer or internship opportunities. In the meantime I'm being chomped by the millions of ants that they can't seem to get rid of - no matter what, they just crawl up the chair I'm sitting on as well as my feet and legs. They aren't serious or really the biting kind but they are a pain! And now I have to pee. Ideally I could just get up and go to the toilet and resolve the issue without a second thought. But it's not such an easy fix today. Evidently the municipal water that they have been relying on is gone. No water coming from the taps or flowing into the toilets. What's frustrating is that this organization's main focus is water and sanitation and they have not sorted out another backup, which most people in Harare and the rest of Zimbabwe did ages ago when the municipal water started to fail years ago. Where's the bore hole? Trucked in water? Aside from needing to pee, where am I going to wash my hands thoroughly before I dig into my lunch that I have to eat with my hands? In the bathroom they have hand washing posters to promote safe hygiene - except they have no water in there to wash your hands with! The irony.

Luckily my meeting is at a coffee shop just down the street so I'm sure I'll head over early to use the facilities there. It's unfortunate that the people are not friendly and they've created such a negative environment. I'm pretty sure they must feel threatened by the fact that Jason is now apart of Zim AHEAD and maybe that's why the cold shoulders. It sounds like they are on the hunt to find a new office, which can only be a good move!

Just another day in the life of Christy...

petulance unraveled

Isn't it funny how one person can say the same thing over and over to you and it means nothing but then someone else comes along and phrases it just slightly differently and all of a sudden this click happens in the brain. I'm no different than the hard headed child that doesn't want to heed mom or dad's advice - except in this case, it was Jason's. It's not that I didn't want to do as he was recommending, it just didn't make sense in my mind; I didn't know how to approach it. There was more to it actually, like the pressure about money and feeling the need to contribute financially, all of that piled on top of the fact that the jobs aren't presenting themselves. Jason has hinted at least a dozen times, that I shouldn't feel pressured, maybe I should find things to fill my time so I'm not so bored. Because let's face it friends, I'm bored to tears a lot of days, especially when there is no ZESA and I've already been reading for 4 hours. My computer battery doesn't last more than half an hour so there is no point in getting started on electronic stuff just to have it poop out on me when I'm feeling warmed and in the middle of something good (like a blog post or a good game of Spider solitaire). Anyway, I didn't want to just fill my time with anything, I wanted (still do actually) a job, one that would fill my hours and pay me for my good services all while learning and being challenged.

We had a new friend of ours over last Friday for dinner - now that we have our new little home, I really want to entertain! She was in PC 10 years ago and now works for an international NGO. She's very sweet and I like her a lot, it's nice to have a girl friend around to talk to (now we just have to work on finding a guy friend for Jason). She is able to get into these in depth conversations with Jason about their work here and that's when I just feel left behind - no fault of their own, it's just the natural course of the conversations that we end up having. This is when I wish I was working with an NGO, doing something, learning about the environment and work situation here in Zimbabwe so I could partake in these types of discussions. Regardless of my not contributing, she was aware of my situation and offered her thoughts about how I could get involved with organizations and I could probably even help her out with a few things. Nothing major was stated but I realized that it's time to change my perspective and approach to finding work.

Saturday morning we drove South to Chiredzi so Jason could do some field work for a few days. On the drive we finally made our budget, which has made a huge difference in relieving some of these anxious feelings. After talking about it and working it out, we realized we're doing fine with just his salary. Yes, it would be nice to be able to save more, but we're not in a dire situation. This is what I needed to figure out in my head because that means I can go out there and find work and it's ok if it's unpaid.

On Sunday we had to drive to the border so we could use the South African Vodacom cell phone network - we didn't have to cross because the network is available on the Zim side. A friend of a friend from Chiredzi needed a lift so he road the 3 hours with us - it was nice to have company and good conversation. At one point we ended up talking about why we, as Americans that can live a relatively more comfortable life back at home, choose to live here and do the work we do. It's a question that I think a lot of people want to ask and don't know how. Jason made a good point and said we're not content to just sit back and lead a mediocre life. Yes, we could live at home, very comfortably but would we really be happy. When we have bad days here, we can still sit together and say hey, we're living outside the box, doing something different, living the life we weren't content just to dream about. And at that moment it really clicked in my head. I needed to know that financially we were ok but then it really struck the right cord inside me to hear him talk about our life like that. I am not ok just sitting around reading all day. Although a nice, guilty pleasure to do every now and again, it's not what I want my time in Zimbabwe to be about. I need to get out there and seek out volunteer positions, internships, whatever I can, regardless of pay, so I can walk away at some point and say that I made the most of my life here. I want to go back to grad school in a few years and know that despite not being able to find paid work, I was able to gain valuable experiences learning about the NGO sector and international aid - it wasn't all about the money and worrying about it.


Finally, a peace and calmness have settled over me and I've taken a new approach this week. Tiny steps have been made, but they'll lead to something.