Friday, February 5, 2010

Back to Africa

It's hard to believe the festivities have come and gone already. It's a feeling similar to Feb. 2, 2009. I had spent almost 4 months at home after Peace Corps, doing absolutely nothing - catching up on a lot of Law & Order and CSI, hanging out with sisters and just vegging. But before I realized it, I was already back in Leigh's car riding away form the Johannesburg airport as if only a couple of weeks had passed. That was a surreal moment.

Oxford English Dictionary entry for 'surreal': adjective, strange and having the qualities of a dream.

Hmmm…it was strange to be back, like the 4 months in the states were just a dream. And looming ahead of me was a scary time - not scary I fear for my life, but scary I have no idea what the next step looks like. Lucky for me, Jason was there to take my hand and we started to carve out the future together.

A year later, it's almost the same story, only instead of 4 months at home, it was 5 weeks. And instead of recovering from PC by myself, Jason and I were together preparing for the big wedding and visiting family. We had an enchanting week in Puerto Rico where we got married surrounded by our close family and friends. And it whooshed by and suddenly we're back here in Africa. Back in Zimbabwe - at a nicer place to stay but still playing the waiting game. Hoping I get a call from the NGO I interviewed with back in December, hoping that more jobs are posted so I can at least feel as though I'm making an effort and not sitting all day.

It's that surreal feeling again. Being home and pampered, feeling like a princess and then aback here to a country that doesn't have enough resources to keep the electricity on all day or provide clean water for it's people. Yet it's where we want to be because of the work we do. Some must think we're crazy, both back home and here - why would we choose the harder life? I guess in my mid it's not harder, just different than the challenges we would face if we were living in the states. And even though we are eager to get settled, have all our belongings under one roof - our roof - we're not trying to rush things or get stressed that the jobs for me aren't just dropping into my lap. And maybe starting off married life with so many uncertainties isn't the ideal way to do it but it suites us just fine and we're doing it together. And when we finally get that house and get settled, we'll be more inclined to really appreciate it because we know how frustrating and challenging life is without it, always relying on others to support you.

Bottom line is, we're happy and we're together and that's what matters, right?

As I keep saying to myself, the job will come, something will present itself soon enough. One day at a time.

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