I woke up in a really bad mood. It was overcast and after the rough day I had yesterday (lots of time wasted by waiting for people, got home after dark at 6:30, which is really late), I didn’t want to do anything but stay curled up in my cozy bed. But I can hold off going pee for only so long and since the toilet is outside and I have to get decent before I leave my house, usually by the time I come back from the toilet, I’m wide awake. So despite the intimidating clouds, I braved the weather set off for the office to start my last project. I want to paint the office, cheer it up a bit for the staff and paint a big version of our logo on the wall.
As I walked down the road I didn’t really think about this and instead went over all the confrontations I wanted to have so I could wallow in my bad mood. But I knew this wasn’t going to get me anywhere so I tried hard to turn my bad mood around. I immediately got a ride and the guy driving was really friendly and that helped. I was surprised when I got to the office and no one was there but I just got down to work clearing things out and scraping the walls. The German guys showed up (they are here for a month volunteering for Phedišang, not sure if I’ve introduced them yet) and wanted to use the internet and they were in luck because no one was in the office working on the computers. It was nice to have them around (despite the fact that they were some of the people I wanted to have choice words with, mostly because they are a bit too attached to the internet and harass me to use it every day – and caused us to be really late getting home on Monday) and they helped reach the really high spots on the ceilings – they both are extremely tall.
Finally, around 12:30 I got really hungry and had to stop. I went outside and asked the cooks for some water to wash off the white paint on my hands so I could eat. Jeanette, one of the cooks, brought me a bucket of water and I started washing but she must not have liked my style because she grabbed my hands and took over the job. She first scrubbed my right hand and used tons of soap before moving on to the left hand to repeat the process. She was talking with the other women in Sepedi the whole time and I couldn’t quite understand what they were talking about but paraffin was mentioned. Next thing you know she’s put a bit of paraffin on my hand telling me that it will help get the paint off. After she was finished I dried my hands on my pants as usual and was about to go and get my bread with peanut butter but she stopped me and told me to wash my hands again to get the paraffin off – good call. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I was only taking a short break to put food in my mouth – I went right back in a few minutes later and finished painting the first coat and got a bit more paint on my hands.
I was hoping to leave the office early today but I’m offering my moral support to Charity and Suzan while they go over the financial report. I could be upset about staying late at work again but I’m going to try my hardest not to be – at least I am spending time with two of the most important people from my time here. The time with C & S is just as valuable, even if I am just sitting next to them, not actually saying much – there is always the journey home.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
girls work weekend
One of the projects I’ve worked on during my two years involves a girl’s high school from Johannesburg coming out to Phedišang for a work weekend. The idea manifested itself one night while I was sitting at the dinner table with Leigh and Sue – we were having one of our many discussions about Phedišang’s potential and how it doesn’t take two years of living in a different country to be socially aware. We discussed the two worlds’ that twist and turn around each other to make up the complex but amazing country of South Africa. There are so many South Africans that have never seen the country like I am experiencing it – because of their Apartheid history, many white people would never even contemplate stepping foot inside a community like the one I live in (I know this because I’ve had a few people actually tell me this exact thing). I truly believe that in order to break down the stereotypes, we have to overcome that fear of the unknown and expose ourselves. I think even for Leigh’s family, who have visited this area for years, were surprised that a young woman would choose to spend two years of her life, living in this rural community. Once they saw that I was making it work, not afraid as long as I took the proper precautions, we got to talking seriously about letting Katherine, their 15 year old daughter, come and spend a few days with me in the village. The McLean’s have proven to be my surrogate family and I care for Katherine and Richard as if they were my own siblings, wanting for them the best that this world has to offer but also making sure they get a well-rounded view of it. That’s why I thought it was so important the Katie and Teresa (my real younger sisters) got to come and spend some time with me, not just in South Africa, but in my village, working with me and meeting my friends and family there. There is so much about the experience that just can’t be put into words but I know will stay with them (and me) for years to come – hopefully shaping the way they view life just a little bit differently. What I’m getting at is that it doesn’t take a lot to be socially conscious, just a willingness to open one’s eyes and step outside of comfort zones, if only for a few days.
From that dinner table conversation (and I’m sure the many others that we would have that would lead into the late hours and really define my Joburg experience), an idea was formed and we planned, stressed and pulled off a weekend where nine 10th grade girls from Roedean School (the one that Katherine attends) stepped outside of their comfortable worlds of heated floors, indoor plumbing and cable TV and came to Phedišang Limpopo for a weekend in late July of 2007. They stayed in the secret haven of the London Mission – located relatively close to our centres/office but even more peaceful and with an incredible view of the mountains. They slept on thin mattresses on the floor, braved the pit toilets (sometimes even in the dark) and the outdoor showers (which I cherished) and the lack of electricity in the building they were staying in. Overall the weekend was a success; we learned what worked – the bathrooms weren’t that big an issue, the activities were a hit as well as the home visits to some of the Phedišang girl’s houses. And what didn’t work – forced one on one interaction with the Phedišang girls, too much debriefing and expecting the Roedean girls to talk about their feelings. After discussions with the Phedišang kids and the Roedean girls, we decided we could do it again the next year, tweak a few things and have even more girls so we could go to all 6 of the Phedišang centres.
The first weekend of August 2008, we had another successful weekend with the Roedean girls. This year the energy was completely different. The first group of girls had no idea what to expect and were a lot more timid going into the weekend. This group of girls arrived at the mission with a spirit and energy that surprised and enchanted me. They were a strong group of girls, no doubt prepared by the previous group but also because of their own ambitions. They spent Friday afternoon meeting the kids at their respective centres and then two long days, Saturday and Sunday, working on wall murals, posters and learning some of the crafts that the Phedišang kids do, as well as traditional games and dances.
Monday was the last day, and after a few hours at the centres, where they put the finishing touches on their projects, we brought all the Roedean girls back to the Mission, along with the Phedišang Leaders they had been working closely with throughout the weekend. It was a beautiful night and while some were preparing the braai dinner, a few others were working together with their leaders on whatever they were going to perform for the variety show later than night. I had been running around, doing whatever I could to help and when I ran up to Charlotte (the Roedean woman in charge of the weekend), she looked at me and although I don’t remember her exact words, it was then that I looked around and saw that this was what it was all about. We were cooking porridge in one area, others were beating drums, groups of Roedean girls and Phedišang leaders were practicing together in different spots – and it all just felt natural and right.
The rest of the night was wonderful, with good food and a fun variety show that even had a little dancing and singing from the “adults” of the weekend. The weekend was long but amazing, and surprisingly had only one conflict to speak of. The girls didn’t let it cripple their support of each other and hopefully those involved learned a valuable lesson; that sometimes the right thing to do is not always the comfortable choice. The experience will stay with the Phedišang kids for a long time and hopefully help open the minds of the Roedean girls as they go through life.
From that dinner table conversation (and I’m sure the many others that we would have that would lead into the late hours and really define my Joburg experience), an idea was formed and we planned, stressed and pulled off a weekend where nine 10th grade girls from Roedean School (the one that Katherine attends) stepped outside of their comfortable worlds of heated floors, indoor plumbing and cable TV and came to Phedišang Limpopo for a weekend in late July of 2007. They stayed in the secret haven of the London Mission – located relatively close to our centres/office but even more peaceful and with an incredible view of the mountains. They slept on thin mattresses on the floor, braved the pit toilets (sometimes even in the dark) and the outdoor showers (which I cherished) and the lack of electricity in the building they were staying in. Overall the weekend was a success; we learned what worked – the bathrooms weren’t that big an issue, the activities were a hit as well as the home visits to some of the Phedišang girl’s houses. And what didn’t work – forced one on one interaction with the Phedišang girls, too much debriefing and expecting the Roedean girls to talk about their feelings. After discussions with the Phedišang kids and the Roedean girls, we decided we could do it again the next year, tweak a few things and have even more girls so we could go to all 6 of the Phedišang centres.
The first weekend of August 2008, we had another successful weekend with the Roedean girls. This year the energy was completely different. The first group of girls had no idea what to expect and were a lot more timid going into the weekend. This group of girls arrived at the mission with a spirit and energy that surprised and enchanted me. They were a strong group of girls, no doubt prepared by the previous group but also because of their own ambitions. They spent Friday afternoon meeting the kids at their respective centres and then two long days, Saturday and Sunday, working on wall murals, posters and learning some of the crafts that the Phedišang kids do, as well as traditional games and dances.
Monday was the last day, and after a few hours at the centres, where they put the finishing touches on their projects, we brought all the Roedean girls back to the Mission, along with the Phedišang Leaders they had been working closely with throughout the weekend. It was a beautiful night and while some were preparing the braai dinner, a few others were working together with their leaders on whatever they were going to perform for the variety show later than night. I had been running around, doing whatever I could to help and when I ran up to Charlotte (the Roedean woman in charge of the weekend), she looked at me and although I don’t remember her exact words, it was then that I looked around and saw that this was what it was all about. We were cooking porridge in one area, others were beating drums, groups of Roedean girls and Phedišang leaders were practicing together in different spots – and it all just felt natural and right.
The rest of the night was wonderful, with good food and a fun variety show that even had a little dancing and singing from the “adults” of the weekend. The weekend was long but amazing, and surprisingly had only one conflict to speak of. The girls didn’t let it cripple their support of each other and hopefully those involved learned a valuable lesson; that sometimes the right thing to do is not always the comfortable choice. The experience will stay with the Phedišang kids for a long time and hopefully help open the minds of the Roedean girls as they go through life.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
insignificant walks
Less than 3 weeks left in the village. It’s crazy to think that in 3 weeks, all of my stuff will be packed up, my pictures and cards taken off the walls and I’ll really be walking away from this place. Two years here – it certainly doesn’t seem like it and in so many ways I don’t want to say goodbye to my friends. I know I’ll be back but it will be different. The quiet calm of the village will be far away once I’m living in the city again. I’m trying to enjoy each little thing, grasp it fully before it slips away.
So today I hung out with Tanya for a bit. It wasn’t necessarily work related at all but it was necessary. Our time is almost through, our friendship destined to change. We went and hung out with Megan for a bit and then we walked to the post office. A seemingly insignificant event but one of the things I’ll remember a long time from now when everything is a bit fuzzy and many things forgotten. The walks to the post office, always eventful with someone (usually a child) calling us lehua (white person) no matter how many times we tell them our names. Sometimes we would vent during the 40 minutes about work stresses or gush about our great boyfriends or just talk about life, what we want to do, where we want to go, who we want to be. We would share letters and packages on the way back, and talk about how friends and families back home, wishing more people would write, hoping tomorrow would be a better mail day. We greet people constantly, try to ignore the drunk men, try to stand the many children that when they get it right, just scream out our names, no matter if we acknowledge them or not. The walks to the post office are filled with these insignificant moments that completely embody what my experience has been like.
The main road to the post office is being tarred. For good reason the construction crews have put rows of rocks to stop cars and taxis from driving on the road because it’s not quite finished. But the people just move the rocks out of the way and drive down the road, too fast and scare the pedestrians. Today I decided that it was our job to put the rocks back. As we walked down the road, we dragged, carried, pushed and heaved the bigger rocks back to their rows to try and prevent those rule breakers from driving down the road. We got a lot of strange looks, some people laughed but we didn’t care and it was fun. And then we watched as one taxi went around our road block. Then another car stopped, got our his car, moved the rocks, got back in the car and drove the 20 feet to the next row, and repeated his process. I would think that the other road would be faster and more efficient for them but they evidently have their reasons.
A seemingly insignificant day, with seemingly insignificant events yet fulfilling in so many ways.
So today I hung out with Tanya for a bit. It wasn’t necessarily work related at all but it was necessary. Our time is almost through, our friendship destined to change. We went and hung out with Megan for a bit and then we walked to the post office. A seemingly insignificant event but one of the things I’ll remember a long time from now when everything is a bit fuzzy and many things forgotten. The walks to the post office, always eventful with someone (usually a child) calling us lehua (white person) no matter how many times we tell them our names. Sometimes we would vent during the 40 minutes about work stresses or gush about our great boyfriends or just talk about life, what we want to do, where we want to go, who we want to be. We would share letters and packages on the way back, and talk about how friends and families back home, wishing more people would write, hoping tomorrow would be a better mail day. We greet people constantly, try to ignore the drunk men, try to stand the many children that when they get it right, just scream out our names, no matter if we acknowledge them or not. The walks to the post office are filled with these insignificant moments that completely embody what my experience has been like.
The main road to the post office is being tarred. For good reason the construction crews have put rows of rocks to stop cars and taxis from driving on the road because it’s not quite finished. But the people just move the rocks out of the way and drive down the road, too fast and scare the pedestrians. Today I decided that it was our job to put the rocks back. As we walked down the road, we dragged, carried, pushed and heaved the bigger rocks back to their rows to try and prevent those rule breakers from driving down the road. We got a lot of strange looks, some people laughed but we didn’t care and it was fun. And then we watched as one taxi went around our road block. Then another car stopped, got our his car, moved the rocks, got back in the car and drove the 20 feet to the next row, and repeated his process. I would think that the other road would be faster and more efficient for them but they evidently have their reasons.
A seemingly insignificant day, with seemingly insignificant events yet fulfilling in so many ways.
Friday, July 25, 2008
hotards in south africa: durban
And so Friday we headed back to Joburg to stay with Heather Bellew before catching a flight back to Durban on Saturday. We had a nice dinner with Heather’s family and then we ducked out to catch a movie. I had been dying to see Sex and the City while it was still in the theatre and so we made our way to the theatre, bought ice cream and pop corn and enjoyed the show.
We navigated our way to the airport and returned the car and hoped that the rental car wouldn’t notice the scratch (ok, it was more like a gash) I had made while we were in Limpopo. One of the mornings I was trying to protect the poor undercarriage of the car from the huge bump going into my house. We managed to avoid scraping going in one direction but trying to go out at the same angle proved a bit more difficult and I ended up scraping the door on the brick post. Oops. Lucky we had insurance and the rental car guy didn’t actually notice it. I made Katie and Teresa run through the car park just in case he changed his mind called us back.
We were met in Durban by Pat and Francois who had graciously offered to put the 3 of us up while mom was still on the ACTS retreat. They were the sweetest hosts, offered us delicious food, made 2 birthday carrot cakes and even took us to the mall so I could find a shirt to wear the next day. They were part of the ACTS retreat last year so they we were all able to go to Candlelight to see mom and the others from Texas for a few minutes before the big reunion the next day at Sunday mass.
We navigated our way to the airport and returned the car and hoped that the rental car wouldn’t notice the scratch (ok, it was more like a gash) I had made while we were in Limpopo. One of the mornings I was trying to protect the poor undercarriage of the car from the huge bump going into my house. We managed to avoid scraping going in one direction but trying to go out at the same angle proved a bit more difficult and I ended up scraping the door on the brick post. Oops. Lucky we had insurance and the rental car guy didn’t actually notice it. I made Katie and Teresa run through the car park just in case he changed his mind called us back.
We were met in Durban by Pat and Francois who had graciously offered to put the 3 of us up while mom was still on the ACTS retreat. They were the sweetest hosts, offered us delicious food, made 2 birthday carrot cakes and even took us to the mall so I could find a shirt to wear the next day. They were part of the ACTS retreat last year so they we were all able to go to Candlelight to see mom and the others from Texas for a few minutes before the big reunion the next day at Sunday mass.
Sunday was also my birthday and it proved to be a spectacular day – I couldn’t have asked for a better way to celebrate than with two of my sisters, my mom and my fiancé! After mass and a nice lunch, we headed to the hotel to check in and rest up for a bit. In the afternoon we walked on the beach, got our feet wet, admired sand sculptures and just goofed off a bit. We headed back to Taco Zulu for my birthday dinner and enjoyed another night of Mexican food and even a shot of Patron tequila! When we got back to the hotel we met up with some others from the retreat and had more drinks. Mom ordered a white Russian, Teresa ordered a non-alcoholic Pina colada and I tried to get a dirty martini – Katie and Jason ordered beers which turned out to be the better option. Teresa’s drink turned out to be a red fruity thing, mom’s was an interesting looking shot and my dirty martini was pink with cherries AND red olives (not pitted).
The next day was devoted to shopping at the Victoria Street Market. Jason debated if he should stay back and work but we won him over and he came with us. Not sure if it was the better option because we shopped for 4 solid hours! He was amazed at how much stuff was bought! Finally we were rewarded with a very late lunch (early dinner) at the Wharf, where we had bunny chow. Basically it’s a hollowed out loaf of bread with curry inside. We didn’t order the hot ones but we were all sniveling messes when we were done – but happy because it was so good. We goofed around as we left the wharf and Katie and I decided to play on the mechanical rides. The rest of the evening we spent relaxing in the hotel room and enjoying our last night together.
Sadly we all boarded planes the next day. Although I wasn’t on the same flight as the girls, we met up at the terminal and we hung out for a few more hours before they headed back to board their international flight. It was hard to believe their visit was over – I won’t lie, a few tears escaped once they walked past security. It’s amazing how much fun I can have with them and just how much I love them (even those the 3+ that weren’t actually here). Sometimes I wonder why I live so far away but it’s apart of life and the old adage is true, distance does make the heart grow fonder. Or is it time? I don’t know but either way, I do love them more every day despite the time elapsed and the distance between us. My cup over floweth.
hotards in south africa: limpopo
After spending the night in Durban, Katie, Teresa and I sadly parted ways with mom – she was staying on in Durban and meeting up with the ACTS ladies and we were heading up to Joburg then Limpopo to experience village life. We managed to survive the excessively early morning, made our flight in plenty of time, did a bit of shopping once we got to Joburg and then had dinner (and stayed with) Leigh and his family. We left the next morning for Turkey village with a stuffed to the brim car and an extra Tanya and Sofia. The drive was fun but longer than I anticipated and we made it the village after dark. The girls were good sports though and they didn’t mind having their first pit toilet experience with the stars shining overhead. Luckily that was not the night we met our rat friend.
The first few days in the village we worked hard and painted a world map mural at one of the drop-in centres. I had to do a bit of work but managed to delegate (thanks Nick!) some of it so I could enjoy the time with my sisters. Amazingly, we finished the map in 2 ½ days – we definitely wouldn’t have finished if Nick hadn’t helped us paint all the water. You don’t realize how much 80% of water is until you paint it! Megan helped us out too and we were able to finish (second coats even) the painting of the countries on the last day. To involve the kids at the centres, we had them put their hand prints all around as a border for it – they loved it and instead of wasting paint, we finished off the left over paint by putting our handprints all over the water tanks. It was fun and the kids really seemed to enjoy it!
The first few days in the village we worked hard and painted a world map mural at one of the drop-in centres. I had to do a bit of work but managed to delegate (thanks Nick!) some of it so I could enjoy the time with my sisters. Amazingly, we finished the map in 2 ½ days – we definitely wouldn’t have finished if Nick hadn’t helped us paint all the water. You don’t realize how much 80% of water is until you paint it! Megan helped us out too and we were able to finish (second coats even) the painting of the countries on the last day. To involve the kids at the centres, we had them put their hand prints all around as a border for it – they loved it and instead of wasting paint, we finished off the left over paint by putting our handprints all over the water tanks. It was fun and the kids really seemed to enjoy it!
During the evenings we visited my friends around the village before heading home to cook dinner. They met Rosen and his family and we were invited to watch a DVD of old Celine Dion music. At Nathacia’s house we were treated to fresh from the oven biscuits and cold drink before they got their hair braided by some of the girls. Most of the time we cooked yummy dinners except for one night – I had no desire to endure another night of prep work, cooking and clean up so we stuffed ourselves on gummy hamburgers/hot dogs, mentos, nutella and pretzels and who knows what else. This was also the night when we had to wash our hair. We took turns washing each others hair, then we each bathed and in the end, the entire process took two hours. There wouldn’t have been enough time to cook dinner anyway… 
I had been planning to have a party with a bunch of my friends in the village for awhile so I thought the perfect time was while my sisters were around. On the last day I made a grocery run with Susan and then I came back and made sure that the girls were up. Then Katie, Teresa, Susan and I ventured out to buy 6 chickens for the party. We bought them, carried them home and then proceeded to cut their heads off with a dull knife. PETA would have a hissy if they were around but that’s the way it’s done here. Ok, we were probably a bit slower than the professionals and my first clue was when Setlau said to Katie in a desperate voice – “SPEED”! We each had our turn and then helped prepare the rest of the meal. Teresa helped Annah with cutting up the chickens and cleaning them, Katie helped Susan chop vegetables and I managed to look busy although I don’t recall actually doing much but taking pictures! 
2 o’clock rolled around and I started getting nervous because we had a lot of food and no one was showing up. But it’s Africa and people started showing up around 3:30. Rosen brought over his sound system so we had music playing and were dancing to Sarafina and Mangogroove before the big meal. We had to eat before dark so we soon chowed down on the delicious meal of pap, fried chicken, boiled cabbage (which is REALLY good – either that or I’ve been eating traditional food too long) and soup stew thing that you eat with the pap. It was delicious and all the party goers managed to leave no scraps but plenty of dirty dishes. Annah insisted that they would clean them the next day which was really sweet considering the girls and I were peacing out then to head back to Joburg.
We adequately fulfilled one of the Peace Corps goals by introducing to the party a piñata. Mom had sent it the year before but I didn’t get to use it for the intended use (a Cinco de Mayo party) so I thought this was a perfect occasion. Katie and Teresa had filled it with tons of candy they brought from home – jolly ranchers, gummy hamburgers and starbursts. After explaining to everyone what we do, Matome shyly was cajoled into giving Winnie the Pooh (it was exactly a traditional piñata) a whack with the stick. A few pieces of candy flew out and then Madala stepped up to bat. His whack sent the thing flying and the candy spilled out which, of course, caused a mad chaotic dash for the candy. Kids of all ages including a woman with a baby strapped to her back and the new manager for Phedišang, Charity, were among the horde. They were completely perplexed by this custom from America but enjoyed it none-the-less.
We continued the party and danced to traditional music till it was well past dark. Everyone was out there, even my shy host mother, Annah, all the other mothers, Nick, and the girls. Teresa was hit on by Sydney and he even gave her his phone number before he had to leave for the evening. We had some birthday cake that Elayna had made – oh yea, this was partially to celebrate my birthday which was coming up in a few days. Soon people had to leave and I drove the PCV’s home as promised and then I came back to settle in for the night with Katie and Teresa. They had such a good time and loved every aspect of the day – cooking and the prep work, playing with the kids, dancing, the piñata, the pictures, all of it. I had to agree – it was a great day and I was happy to share the day with my sisters.
Sadly we had to leave on Friday but we did make a side trip to see Jessica the Hippo. Katie, Teresa and Nick were fascinated by her and fell instantly in love. Our visit was quick so we could make the 5 hour drive, with a lunch stop, and get to Johannesburg before dark. A fun ending to a fantastic week!
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